Struggling to Keep Up

The mind was the first to move on

It listened to my loved ones

And it observed every outcome

It was the first to know the truth: That she no longer belonged in my life

The body took a little while follow suit

But gone are its days of unintended fasting

Gone are its periods of sluggishness

And gone are its sleepless nights

But the heart

The poor, broken little heart

It took the brunt of hit

And it’s been out of whack ever since

It finds itself constantly playing catch up

An exhausting game filled with many highs and lows

Some days it’s running at full speed

And on others it’s dragging its feet

Some days it’s glad she’s gone

And it celebrates the freedom

But on some days it can’t bear the solitude

And it DEMANDS to go back

Some days it romanticizes

And fantasizes

And idealizes

About a bond that had no real compromises

But on other days it curses its naivety

It curses all the time it spent

Loving so hard and giving so much

Only for it never to be returned

On some days it’s hopeful

It believes it’ll find another

But on others it’s the opposite

It never wants to love again

If you’re reading this, my loved ones

I ask that you do me a favor:

Be patient with my little heart

Because I’m doing the same

It may take longer for it to catch up with its counterparts

And as much as you and I wish that weren’t the case

It is

My heart has to move at it’s own pace

And don’t you worry

Don’t you fret

My body and mind

Will keep  my little heart in check

High as a Kite

Did you see my anger?

Did you notice my pain?

Did you know because of my heartbreak,

I’ll never be the same?

I want to have so many pointless conversations.

But they would only add to my confusion.

The duality of my emotions and confessions.

Are only outdone by the millions of questions.

You just seemed to move on so quick.

And that made me sick to my stomach.

Your words landed on my brain like bricks.

And I wished mine did the same. I wish they clicked.

You didn’t get it and probably never will.

And that has me reeling and rolling still.

But even as my emotions spill and spill.

I have to admit I still haven’t had my fill.

As I closed in on your location.

My body was shaking.

My mind and heart were racing.

But that wouldn’t deter me from the high I was chasing.

And believe me: I was as high as a kite!

Tell me how something so wrong can feel so right!

I just wish that the moment could last all night!

You said “It’s not a good idea” and you were right.

You were warm, to my surprise.

But confusion sat in your eyes.

And when we spoke, tears flowed from mine.

And it made me realize.

That gone was the anger.

Gone was the pain.

I forgot that I was heartbroken.

But we’ll still never be the same.